1. I know how to fly (an airplane)
2. I’ll help you move
3. I’m bald
4. I can do magic
5. Little children instinctively like me
6. So do dogs.
7. Cats, not so much
8. I’ll come pick you up if you’re too drunk to drive home
9. If you make a stupid mistake, I’ll help you correct it (but I’ll laugh at you first)
10. I can make you laugh
14. I used to be a paramedic
15. I used to be a cop
16. I believe toilet paper should go over the top of the roll
17. I know how to swing dance
18. I once had three giant scorpions crawling on my bare arm (and have the picture to prove it)
19. I sang the National Anthem at not one, but THREE Major League Baseball games (and have the pictures to prove it)
20. I own a telescope
21. Over the course of my life, I’ve owned dogs, cats, turtles, rabbits, hamsters, mice, rats, ferrets, boa constrictors, frogs, fish, tarantulas and a praying mantis. Dogs are best.
22. I know every Elvis song ever recorded (I'll probably marry the girl that's impressed by that)
23. I make the second-best spaghetti sauce in the world (everybody else is tied for 1st)
24. My Christopher Lloyd impression is spot-on
25. I play the guitar
26. I’d make a great date in almost any social situation
27. I can reach stuff off the top shelf
28. I surf the Web so you don’t have to
29. I know how to rollerblade (kinda)
30. I travel, a lot.
31. I’ve been to every State except West Virginia. Just can’t bring myself to go there.
32. I’m a good listener
33. I overuse the phrase, “I’m so good today I could kiss a goat on the lips!”
34. I’m a good tipper
35. I always tip hotel maids
36. I know how to find the North Star, so if you ever get lost in the woods, I’m your man
37. I produce a lot of heat, so again, if you ever get lost in the woods, I'd come in handy
38. I speak Spanish (sort of)
39. My best friend is a girl (note to NOW members who object to me referring to her as a “girl”: get over it)
40. I’m extremely punctual
41. I have 300-count sheets
42. I remember the ‘50’s
43. I once did a magic trick for Britney Spears (and held her hands while I was doing it!)
44. I think anything on a stick tastes better
45. I think Sean Connery was the best 007
46. I earned a black belt in karate
47. I’d fly into space on a moment’s notice if they’d let me
48. I still consider Pluto a planet (albeit a really Mickey Mouse one)
49. I think George W. Bush is a dangerous, incredibly self-absorbed, stupid little pussy who is an embarrassment to my country.
50. I think Dick Cheney is worse.
51. I also think Dick Cheney is aptly named
52. I don’t end every one of these with a period. I’m wacky that way.
53. I was a radio disk jockey for several years
54. I once was a TV newscaster. On Guam, no less
55. I send Website Wednesdays out to over 100 people every week
56. I don’t look my age
57. I certainly don’t act my age
58. My teenage kids still think I’m cool
59. I give back (wink wink, nudge nudge)
60. From time to time my wallet literally bursts into flames
61. I’m a Mac, not a PC
62. My favorite movie of all time is "Young Frankenstein"
63. When I have to wear ties, they're pretty cool ties
64. I have a friend who looks amazingly like Leonard Nimoy
65. I think "Firefly" and "Battlestar Galactica" are tied for the best sci-fi TV show(s), ever.
66. I know the answer to the question, "What's the first thing you know?"
67. My mama didn't raise no fools (if she did, it was one of my sisters)
68. I'm a pretty good negotiator, and I can give you tips for when you buy your next car
69. I'm in favor of it.
70. I can (usually) stop babies and little children from crying by talking like Donald Duck
71. I can talk like Donald Duck
72. I know how to make balloon animals
73. When I was 8, I was a King County Junior Deputy Sheriff
74. I would vote for Pedro (thanks, Luis)
75. I still have a great relationship with my mom and sisters, and my dad was my hero
76. I didn't even know what a "dysfunctional family" was until I was out of high school
77. I can quote entire passages from "Young Frankenstein," "The Princess Bride" and "Napoleon Dynamite"
78. I once won a Royal Caribbean "Karaoke Idol" contest (for singing this)
79. I know how to do CPR.
80. I can say "Put it on my friend's tab" in seven different languages.
81. I know how to scuba dive (old school NAUI, thank you).
82. I don't get hangovers (never have yet, anyway)
83. I can't smell skunk.
84. I once gave a high school commencement address
85. I have a friend who was in Vietnam, has PTSD, is on disability, whose ex-wife tried to kill him during their divorce and HE spent time in jail for it - whose name is "Lucky."
86. I am fun to talk to.
87. I have no contagious diseases
88. I can, at the touch of a button, have a custom-made pizza delivered to me in 30 minutes or less.
89. I'm a pretty good swimmer.
90. Do you really want to be known throughout history as the person who WASN'T friends with Skip Tucker? Think about it.
91. You haven't had a sufficient dose of strangeness in your life.
92. If you have a bad kidneys, I have two and I could lend you one.
93. Why not?
94. I recycle.
95. I (usually) wear my seatbelt.
96. I don't ring doorbells and run away before the occupant can answer (any more).
97. I have pomegranate tequila at my house. (Stop making that face. It's actually pretty good)
98. I know the names of several stars and constellations, and I can point them out to you with a green laser pointer.
99. I own a green laser pointer.
100. I mostly eschew verbose and esoteric philosophical multiplicities and sedulously avoid tautological and polysyllabical profundities in the communication of vital import, thereby obviating the manifest difficulties which many educated individuals tend to experience in and while adapting their extensive vocabularies to specific audiences. Mostly.
101. I'm 10% finished with this list
102. Because if you're not, the terrorists win.
103. I can raise one eyebrow
104. I can wiggle my ears
105. I use the term "duck soup" a lot (it means "Sure, that'll be easy")
106. I have never once attempted to break into a bear's home and eat its porridge (as far as you know)
107. I hardly ever leave my shoelaces untied
108. I am excellent (and improving) on compiling pointless lists
109. It's entirely possible that it would be more fun meeting me in real life than via the computer
110. I can jump higher than a house
111. No one has ever mistaken me for Wilford Brimley, Keith Moon or Amy Winehouse
112. I have, on several occasions, been mistaken for "Steve," the bouncer on "The Jerry Springer Show."
113. I can ski downhill (not very well, mind you... but I can ski)
114. Frankenstein never scared me. (Marsupials do - because they're fast!) (The bugs will get that one)
115. I won the "Best Supporting Actor" award for my portrayal of Herr Schultz in Cabaret at the Albany Civic Theatre in 1983
116. I never did that well in Chemistry in school, but one of my favorite activities is turning beer into urine.
117. One of the original "Big Lebowski" dudes was named Skip Tucker
118. I am also, apparently, the Executive Director of the "Alabama Voters Against Law Abuse." (Notice the first comment following the text!)
119. Check this out! There's even a "Skip Tucker Day" in Connecticut! The pisser is, in Connecticut, I'm dead.
120. I'm also a pharmacist in Indianapolis. Lovely.